When someone you care about is struggling with their mental health, it can feel overwhelming. You may worry about saying the wrong thing or not knowing how to help. The truth is—showing up matters more than having perfect words. Here are some simple, powerful ways to support a friend, even when you’re unsure.
1. Ask Twice
Sometimes the first “How are you?” gets an automatic “I’m fine.” Gently asking again—“Really, how are you doing?”—can give your friend permission to open up. That second question often communicates you truly want to listen.
2. Practice Active Listening
You don’t need to solve their problems. Just being present is enough. Listen without judgment. Nod, make eye contact, and repeat back what you’ve heard: “It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot lately.” This shows you’re paying attention and that their feelings matter.
3. Stay Present Without Fixing
It’s tempting to jump in with advice, but sometimes your friend simply needs space to share. Instead of “fixing,” try asking: “What would feel most helpful right now—listening, brainstorming, or just sitting together?”
4. Talk About Safety
If your friend is in deep distress, gently ask about their safety. Questions like “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” do not plant the idea—they show care and can save a life. If risk is present, help them connect with a supportive adult, peer, or crisis professional. Together, you can outline a basic safety plan: who they can call, what helps them cope, and where they can go if things get worse.
5. Follow Up in Meaningful Ways
Checking in after the first conversation shows you truly care. Small gestures can mean a lot:
- Send a text or make a quick call to say you’re thinking of them.
- Write a handwritten card or note —sometimes words on paper feel extra grounding.
- Offer to help with a task they’ve been putting off, like errands or chores.
- Surprise them with a gift card for coffee, a meal out, or their favorite drink —a reminder they deserve care, too.
- Share simple, practical resources like breathing techniques, grounding exercises, or the HOPELINE™ (text HOPELINE to 741741) for 24/7 support.
Follow-up doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be consistent. Those small reminders can bring hope in heavy times.
Remember:
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.
Your care and consistency can be a lifeline.
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If you or someone you know is struggling,
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